The most coveted prize, the wooden spoon won by W Bro John Kaspryzk with 19 points
It was a misty-eyed start to a cracking day of swings, slices, and questionable scorecards as the George Parker Golfing Lodge of Mark Master Masons No. 1316 descended upon Chobham Golf Club, Surrey, (postcode for those still trying to find it: GU21 2TZ), for what would be a truly unforgettable (and occasionally unrepeatable) morning of golfing glory.
Now, before the first tee shot had even landed in the rough, we knew we were in for a day of fierce competition, gentle heckling, and the unmistakable scent of Deep Heat lingering over breakfast baps.
On to the action:
Our headline act, and soon to be banned from all future handicapping discussions, Garry Foley, triumphed as the Top Member Golfer with a respectable 35 points. A solid round — suspiciously solid, in fact — leading to whispers on the 19th hole and the quiet awarding (for the second time, we might add) of the infamous “El Bandido Certificate”. A proud moment for Garry, though we’re not sure whether he framed it or burned it in the car park.
Coming in second among members, and bringing his usual steely determination and sharp wit, was John Briggs. Solid off the tee, reliable on the green, and unburdened by any sort of moustache — despite persistent rumours.
Meanwhile, guest golfer Murray Williamson stormed the course like a man who’d mistaken Chobham for Augusta National. Not only did he claim Nearest the Pin, but also waltzed off with the Highest Guest Score, showing a level of form that had some wondering whether he’d been secretly training at the Belfry. We checked — no comment.
On the other end of the leaderboard (and probably still looking for his ball on the 12th), Whispering John Kasprzyk valiantly claimed the Wooden Spoon with a grand total of 19 points which didn’t go down quietly. John accepted his prize with great humour and very little dignity — just as tradition demands. A true sportsman, and a real asset to Group 1, even if his swing is currently under investigation by the RSPCA for crimes against turf.
The Teams:
(left) Group 1: Garry Foley (Winner), John Briggs, John Kasprzyk (Hero of Humility)
(right) Group 2: Steve Bevis, Peter Hyde, Bob Rough
(left) Group 4: Steve Berkshire, Kanti Mistry, Vinay Pattni
(right) Group 3: Richard Wood (Guest), Murray Williamson (Guest and Showoff)
Group 5: Martin Mellamphy, Tony Mellamphy (Guest), John Wood
We’re still compiling the full list of everyone who was there to cheer, heckle, and provide dubious moral support — but rest assured, every Mark Mason present contributed to the banter, and the collective search for wayward balls.
Special Mentions:
- The Greenkeepers – for pretending not to notice the bunker excavation project on hole 6.
- The Bar Staff – for replenishing the beer taps just in time for post-round analysis (and excuses).
- The Weatherman – for once proving that Masonry and meteorology do sometimes mix.
Whether you were scoring birdies, bogeys, or just enjoying the bacon rolls, it was a day that embodied everything wonderful about the George Parker Golfing Lodge No. 1316: friendship, fair play, and the occasional fluffed chip shot.
See you all next time – and Garry, bring your Bandido Certificate with you. We’re laminating it.
Next Meeting
Date: 19th of June 2025
Golf Course:at Wexham Park golf course.
Breakfast rolls tea and coffee at 7:30 6T times kicking off at 8 am And the one course festive board in the restaurant followed by prizegiving inclusive of trophies, a complementary four ball voucher and of course the coveted prize the wooden spoon.
Approx. 24 players @ £50pp
Prize giving in the 19th Hole.
